The Horror, the Horror: William and Kate Ad Nauseam

November 21, 2010 at 12:16 am (Uncategorized)

When I opened my newspaper earlier this week, I knew it was going to be bad. The Toronto Globe and Mail printed an eight-page section on the royal engagement the day it was announced.

File this under things I say I don’t care about, yet bother me intensely. Four days of royal engagement nonsense and I’m sick of it, but it’s only going to get worse until the inevitable spectacle next summer.

In a sense though, I’m kicking at open doors. The monarchy is one of those curious traditions that people have long since stopped justifying, but merely accept as, well, tradition. After all , none of the old arguments make much sense anymore:

The acceptance of the divine right of kings was abandoned hundreds of years ago.

The notion that they play a useful role in guiding the country is long gone too. It always amused me when  people would defend the Queen mother, they pointed to her role in the Second World War touring the blitz decimated areas of London. Yes, but what did she do for the next half century?

The final argument is that the royal family provide some sort of glue that holds the country together. Well it is true that a few years ago the British people were united in their dislike of them, but I digress.

So let’s briefly Let’s look at the last generation of royal marriages, and the moral leadership they provided.

Charles and Diana – what was presented as a fairy tale romance swiftly descended into a fairly unpleasant divorce complete with adultery, tampon-envy, and a somewhat gruesome death. 

Anne and Mark – Oddly enough, though Anne was probably the most disliked of the royal children because of her ill-contained contempt for “the common people” she emerged with the most dignity. A divorce. Plain and simple.

Andrew and Sarah – Another squalid divorce complete with toe-sucking.

Edward and Sophie – I always thought Edward was gay (probably the most interesting thing about him), but he ended up marrying a woman who looked creepily like a plain version of his dead sister-in-law, and then the two of them disappeared from sight.

Yup, much better than us.

Still, I was mildly amused to read in this morning’s Globe that when she was a student at public school, Kate would regularly moon the boys’ residence. Whatever would the Queen mother say?



  1. ballnoir said,

    I like your opinions,lol, but if people don’t talk about the royal engagement , who will they want to talk about? “The Sex pistols?”

    • fischerzed said,

      I guess my feeling is that it becomes ‘a bread and circuses’ type thing: Fussing and obsessing over an obsolete instituion while igonring the very real social problems in the world.

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